Monday, September 19, 2011
Atoms: More Complicated Than They Have to Be
Why can't they just say "So the protons and neutrons hugs each other very tightly and a very tight ball, and the electrons run in circles around them like demented dogs."?
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Dock Spider
Spiders are scary. We all know that.
Fucking scary. Oh yeah, easy.
The spiders 235 miles north of here that look like they were exposed to radioactive material as eggs?
Fucking. Terrifying.
And there was one in the window of the cabin Mom&Me we sleeping in when we were at psychotic-believes-i'm-inferior-"friend"'s house.
Me: "Holycrap there's a reallybig spider in the window!!!"
The thing was dead center in a really big web. Mom: [stares for a couple seconds] "Relax. It's dead. No need to worry."
The thing, after a couple of seconds, began ascending its web like a cannibal climbing a net in the Lego Pirates of the Carribean Wii game, and ducked out of sight to eat a few young children.
-Motaki, Spider Terrified
Update: This post was 5x as long until I drew a pic of the spider and forgot the rest of the article, and to put the pic on. So here it is.
UPDATE: Goddammit. I made a typo.
Fucking scary. Oh yeah, easy.
The spiders 235 miles north of here that look like they were exposed to radioactive material as eggs?
Fucking. Terrifying.
And there was one in the window of the cabin Mom&Me we sleeping in when we were at psychotic-believes-i'm-inferior-"friend"'s house.
Me: "Holycrap there's a reallybig spider in the window!!!"
The thing was dead center in a really big web. Mom: [stares for a couple seconds] "Relax. It's dead. No need to worry."
The thing, after a couple of seconds, began ascending its web like a cannibal climbing a net in the Lego Pirates of the Carribean Wii game, and ducked out of sight to eat a few young children.
-Motaki, Spider Terrified
Update: This post was 5x as long until I drew a pic of the spider and forgot the rest of the article, and to put the pic on. So here it is.
UPDATE: Goddammit. I made a typo.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
My Dream Job
I got back from this vacation today and my mom's friend up there was pestering me about which job I want my first one to be. No, that's not right. It's more "WHICH JOB DO YOU WANT YOURS TO BE BECAUSE I WAS WORKING WHEN I WAS TEN AND YOU MUST WORK TOO OR YOU WILL BECOME MORE INFERIOR." I'm already quite inferior in her mind to the girl she's known for four years tops (hello, eight years anyone) and you can't even get a job nowadays until you're 15/16.
Me: What. The. Fuck. Why is she doing this to me???
"Friend": "What do you want your first job to be?????"
Me: WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME WHY THE FUCK DO I DESERVE THIS?????
"Friend": (not hearing mental shouting) "What do you want your first job to be??????????"
Me: [Stoic silence.]
But I could totally work at the Cabela's over in Rogers. Helloooo, as a cashier you get to touch the BIG $$$$$$$$ camping gear! Touch! It! Maybe even put it in bags!
~nirvana~
Me: What. The. Fuck. Why is she doing this to me???
"Friend": "What do you want your first job to be?????"
Me: WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME WHY THE FUCK DO I DESERVE THIS?????
"Friend": (not hearing mental shouting) "What do you want your first job to be??????????"
Me: [Stoic silence.]
But I could totally work at the Cabela's over in Rogers. Helloooo, as a cashier you get to touch the BIG $$$$$$$$ camping gear! Touch! It! Maybe even put it in bags!
~nirvana~
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